Therefore, so that I would not become arrogant, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to trouble me - so that I would not become arrogant. I asked the Lord three times about this, that it would depart from me. But he said to me, “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)
I have a gorilla on my back. I can never turn far enough to see it, but I stagger under its weight. Primal grunts come from behind, and people give me strange looks. They must be shocked at the size of my gorilla.
My ape is noisy and rude. Everywhere I go, he interrupts with inappropriate habits and offensive banter. He is to blame for the temptations in my life, my ailing body, and soured relationships.
My gorilla whispers dark thoughts and tricks me into thinking they are my own. Depression, anger, apathy—he has a long repertoire of weedy ideas to plant.
I slap my back, but my gorilla only laughs and digs in. Try as I may, I can’t shake off this exhausting weight.
I asked Jesus to get rid of the beast, to lift it from my back and set me free. He said no, because I don’t hold his hand tightly when there’s no gorilla. He would do anything to ensure I never let go of his hand. He even allows the hated ape on my back.
If Jesus said this is the way it is, then that’s how it will stay. I have to keep the gorilla until I die. So I’ll cling to the hand of Jesus and ask him to correct each whisper from my gorilla. There will be a lot of hand-squeezing and much correcting.
Prayer: Be close, Jesus, and help me with the weight of my temptations.