For this reason, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. A person should examine himself first, and in this way let him eat the bread and drink of the cup. For the one who eats and drinks without careful regard for the body eats and drinks judgment against himself. (1 Corinthians 11:27-29)
The bread is at my mouth, and the cup of the vine will follow. Before I take these symbols into myself, I want to remember why we do this. The cloud in my mind won’t solidify, but phrases waft past.
“Examine himself … unworthy manner … guilty of sinning.”
The smoke thickens.
I examine myself. A harsh reply to my wife, carnal thoughts, ingratitude. I’m unworthy. Can I hide from the cup?
The mist shifts and the words clear up.
“Whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup … in an unworthy manner.”
We’re all unworthy. So it’s the manner in which I take communion that can condemn me.
More words take shape, “Careful regard for the body of the Lord.”
There in the cloud, I see Jesus, crucified. His face is twisted in agony, and blood runs from his gaping wounds.
I must acknowledge Jesus, my Lord, beaten and dead because of my unworthiness. Failure to recognize what my sin cost the King of the Universe, is to eat and drink in an unworthy manner.
The Darling of Heaven, the Perfect One, has subjected himself to an errant flea. He has raised that flea to a status beyond angels. Am I worthy of his sacrifice? No. Can I acknowledge the horrible cost in a manner of reverence? Yes.
The smoke grows dense and spiced. It becomes the incense of awe in the Holy of Holies in my heart.
In my left hand is bread, in the right is wine. As the warm haze swirls through me, I desperately push the body and blood of Christ into my mouth.
Prayer: Dear Jesus, your body and blood are what I need above all things.