Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the one against whom the Lord will never count sin. (Romans 4:7, 8)
My life is broken. It cycles like this—sin, languish, repent, back to sin. To say I never backslide is to expose my misunderstanding of the definition of sin.
The truly dangerous part of the cycle is languishing. That’s where sin multiplies. Wallowing in the swamp of self defeat, thick with guilt and disappointment, I’m disgusted with myself, and figure God must be repulsed too. The mud sucks at my feet, holding me from repentance. My thoughts run to, I may as well stay and give in.
A bridge gleams with rays of gold over the mire. Its name is Grace. It was the most expensive bridge ever constructed, and also the most useful. I’m invited to skip directly from sin to repentance. I don’t have to spend another minute in the bog of languish.
The bridge is proof that I was wrong about God hating me. Even at the height of my rebellion, Father God loved me. As I still love my two-year-old child when she misbehaves, God, too, never pulls his love back. He wants me near him, even after I sin. That’s why he paid for the bridge—to carry me from sin to himself as fast as possible.
The rules of the bridge are simple. After I cross over, stop condemning myself and start thanking God. Stop acting self-sufficient, and start expecting Jesus to get me out of sin. Stop living for temporal pleasure, and start living for eternal love.
Above all, when I sin—and I will sin—be an adult about it. Get up, dust myself off, and run across the bridge to repentance. Bypass languish altogether.
Prayer: Father, when I sin, help me return to you.